Facing Fear

The following thoughts were precipitated by an exchange in the comments box on my One Man, One Canoe post between myself and the author of the excellent regional (Nova Scotia) nature blog Flandrum Hill.

It occurs to me that those of us who love, cherish, revere...nature, and find spiritual (whatever that perhaps overused word means) connection there, may at times have a tendency to romanticize nature, and thereby distort its reality. Those of us who have gone beyond the few hour nature trail (not to slight that in the least), and spent extended time in real wilderness know that nature is in fact often not as romantic as we would portray it. It can, in fact, come to us in an impersonal "brutality," if you will, demanding a respect, a healthy "fear" if you will, that we were not immediately in mind to give.

Flandrum Hill related a story about her husband. She wrote, "I'm reminded of my husband's solo camping trips whenever I look at his hands. He found himself alone and injured in a remote part of Algonquin Park in Ontario, and consequently burned off part of his finger to avoid gangrene. Fear of such scenarios keep many people from venturing out alone in the woods...." I find that I face fear...on some level every time I go into the wilderness. Being with that fear...and not letting it stop me, are, as far as I am concerned, an absolutely integral part of the wilderness experience.

There is, of course, a broader application to life. In facing our fears, whatever they may be...facing them down, being present with them...we find that they will lose their power to rule our lives...a power that we give to them and that they cannot have without our permission. This does not mean that a particular fear will then evaporate and go completely away. In fact, in my experience, that is quite often not the case. I have been in open canoes on big water in wind and wave conditions and been afraid many times, and as I am not a strong swimmer, I in fact face some fear--however well I have learned to control it--every single time I take a canoe out on a big lake. The fear has never gone away. Not even though I have successfully navigated dicey situations over and over again. And actually, I am not even sure any more that the fear should go away. Each time I face a fear, and go through it, be present with it...and don't let it stop me...I re-learn a valuable lesson.... And facing fear in the wilderness has taught me about facing fears in other situations of my life. It doesn't mean that the fear will go away. It may never and I have learned not to even expect that necessarily. But it means that I can be with it, go through it, and I'll be okay on the other side.... And it's a process that has to happen again and again whenever the fears come....

Flandrum Hill wrote something else in that exchange that was entirely profound: "If you're not comfortable in your own skin, then you'll never feel comfortable anywhere on the planet." Truth, and the facing of fear is a part of the work of becoming comfortable in one's own skin.