"Go quietly, Carry little."

Poetry, quotations, personal reflections from a lover of the wilderness, a lover of the silence....


Monday, February 2, 2009

The End of Solitude

(Bold emphasis in the excerpt below is mine.)

"What does the contemporary self want? The camera has created a culture of celebrity; the computer is creating a culture of connectivity. As the two technologies converge — broadband tipping the Web from text to image, social-networking sites spreading the mesh of interconnection ever wider — the two cultures betray a common impulse. Celebrity and connectivity are both ways of becoming known. This is what the contemporary self wants. It wants to be recognized, wants to be connected: It wants to be visible. If not to the millions, on Survivor or Oprah, then to the hundreds, on Twitter or Facebook. This is the quality that validates us, this is how we become real to ourselves — by being seen by others. The great contemporary terror is anonymity....

So we live exclusively in relation to others, and what disappears from our lives is solitude. Technology is taking away our privacy and our concentration, but it is also taking away our ability to be alone. Though I shouldn't say taking away. We are doing this to ourselves; we are discarding these riches as fast as we can. I was told by one of her older relatives that a teenager I know had sent 3,000 text messages one recent month. That's 100 a day, or about one every 10 waking minutes, morning, noon, and night, weekdays and weekends, class time, lunch time, homework time, and toothbrushing time. So on average, she's never alone for more than 10 minutes at once. Which means, she's never alone.

I once asked my students about the place that solitude has in their lives. One of them admitted that she finds the prospect of being alone so unsettling that she'll sit with a friend even when she has a paper to write. Another said, why would anyone want to be alone?

...Loneliness is not the absence of company, it is grief over that absence. The lost sheep is lonely; the shepherd is not lonely. But the Internet is as powerful a machine for the production of loneliness as television is for the manufacture of boredom. If six hours of television a day creates the aptitude for boredom, the inability to sit still, a hundred text messages a day creates the aptitude for loneliness, the inability to be by yourself....

...when I was a teenager, but you couldn't call them 100 times a day.... If boredom is the great emotion of the TV generation, loneliness is the great emotion of the Web generation. We lost the ability to be still, our capacity for idleness. They have lost the ability to be alone, their capacity for solitude.... And losing solitude, what have they lost? First, the propensity for introspection...."

~William Deresiewicz

The entire (long but worth it, in my opinion) article may be found here.

19 comments:

  1. Amen!

    I too know kids who text and call and email one another all the time. (In fact, more than a few of 'em are too old to qualify as kids.) I don't think any ever do stuff alone.

    But you know what—and I'm not sure what the correlation is, just that it exists—the more "outdoor minded" a person is, young or old, the more likely they are to be self-contained, satisfied with their own company, at ease being alone. Nature, or their relationship to nature and the natural world—whether they like to hike, birdwatch, fish, hunt, canoe—gives them some quality a strictly urban life misses. Courage of self? Inner peace? I have no idea what—but something.

    It's no coincidence, I think, that so many writers and thinkers comfortable in solitude are also comfortable in nature.

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  2. Grizzled, you nail it almost every time. You are so right. I can't name what it is either, but the correlation of which you speak most surely exists...

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  3. I think the correlation is what Forest talked about, connection. Some people see connection through the limiting perspective of "connection to others" and are oblivious to the rich connection that exists between man and the natural world.

    If you see this rich connection to nature, and do not have such an anthropocentric view of the world then you will always have a feeling of connection. I can go a long time before I feel a disconnection from others because there is so much other "life" out there - the trees, birds, nature etc...
    I think writers and poets need solitude but also seek it. Why, because they tend to be idealists and dreamers who cannot accept the stark reality of man's foibles and mediocrity. They seek inspiration without disappointment and this can always be found in the natural world.

    Bella

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  4. Bella,
    Yes, you totally get it. Thanks for articulating this connection even further from Grizzled's comment.

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  5. Another article to accompany "The End of Solitude" is "Am I Still Here?" in Orion Magazine:
    /www.orionmagazine.org/index.php/articles/article/4234/

    The question of whether one can stand to be alone either in the city or nature is a multi-faceted topic. I was raised in a small family with my own bedroom and space and have always valued time alone. I paddled, hiked, camped, hunted and fished more often alone than with others; I think that was due to most kids my age weren't into the outdoors like I was.

    When I lived with the Nunamiut Eskimos they couldn't understand my need for time alone. They had always had to disperse in small family units each winter in order to survive; so the chance to get together in a large gathering or village setting was what they craved. The person who would put themselves voluntarily apart from others was looked at as a bit of a misanthrope.

    Some of the people I guide are totally wired and whenever they have a "signal" they will pull out their cell phone or Blackberry and conduct business or long distance relationships. Their reasons for being on a wilderness trip vary. I remain skeptical as to whether some of the wired participants ever get out of their regular life pattern and into a more natural pattern during their vacation trip.

    What Thoreau, Olson, Rutstrum, and a host of other "wilderness visionaries" wrote about seems lost to so many of our world today. The solitary act of reading books has been in decline for 50 years now...
    But I ramble off of subject...

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  6. Northland,
    Well, your ramblings are well worthwhile. You're continuing the thought provocation about the topic well. You say you are "skeptical as to whether some of the wired participants ever get out of their regular life pattern and into a more natural pattern during their vacation trip. Uh...I'll stick my neck out and say flatly that if they are still "wired" and talking on cell phones out in the wilderness, then they DO NOT get out of their regular life pattern and into a more natural pattern!!!

    I would find it very difficult to guide such folks.... Perhaps that is one reason I am not a professional guide.

    Thanks, Northland, for ever moving the discussion onward

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  7. aah, Northland mentioning misanthrope - I have been wondering that perhaps misanthropes were idealists/dreamers/humanists who once they discovered the smallness and foibles of man, need to retreat away from man. I suppose misanthropes don't necessarily retreat to nature, but they can. Misanthropy has alot of false assumptions that I now understand. Oh, and I suspect that some of my favourite writers were misanthropes - Hesse, Sartre, Thoreau....and from my recent introduction to Abbey and his quotes, probably Abbey too! Now I'm rambling off topic too
    :) thanks Forest for another thought provoking post.

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  8. Bella,
    I would caution however against regarding the need for solitude as inherently misanthropic. They are certainly not synonymous. Of the writers you mention, Sartre was most certainly a misanthrope, and Abbey and Thoreau may have had some misanthropic tendencies; I can't say that I've yet detected misanthropy in Hesse. But one can need to take oneself apart from people for the health of one's being and it is not to be regarded as a misanthropic gesture or tendency.

    Interesting the way these discussions develop. I didn't take the article as having anything to do with misanthropy really...

    :)

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  9. Forest Wisdom, I understand your strong reaction to the people who use their electronic devices in a wilderness setting. Not many do so, fortunately. Like I said, motivations vary for those going to the wilderness.They are there because they want to be. On their own time, in the early morning or evening, if they want to sidle over away from the group and read, or thumb their Blackberry, so be it.
    As a guide, I have to take all participants where they're coming from and work with them, within reason. I train them and talk to them about wilderness ethics, LNT and above all, share with them my love of nature. Like any seeker they take away from the experience what they put into it. And I'm always on a quest to promote a more biocentric world-view with all participants.

    Bella, I appreciate your mentioning anthropocentrism when examining man's use of electronic media. This wired human world is really just one more manifestation of man's lack of a truly biocentric world-view.

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  10. Northland,
    I admire and commend your approach, and I know you're right. Perhaps you're a more patient soul than I, perhaps more of a teacher...perhaps I could do it too.... Thank you also for the insertion of "biocentrism" into the discussion. I think we're on the same page.

    Peace to you

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  11. Solitude refers specifically to solitude from other people, so this is where the misanthropy ideas came from...people who enjoy solitude are often selective of who they associate with - and prefer to be alone rather than spend it with others that may disturb their peace in some way. Writers, poets and nature lovers being often idealists may need time away from the television of human reality because their ideals and dreams are somehow destroyed or denied by the reality of human existence. Hesse wrote about his inability to "reconcile reality with what was good, desirable and sensible" and becoming a hermit and turning away from many people in his life. He went through a crisis when his benign view of the world changed to the horror of wanting to "accuse the world of delusion and brutality".
    The use of misanthropy has always been such a negative one and one I would previously never have wanted to associate with my heroes until
    now - understanding that there is more meaning to the word other than being just a miserable person who hates the world.

    ...Abbey quote: I'm a humanist; I'd rather kill a man than a snake...

    Anyone I think I've hijacked your original post and rambled off on another thread...probably a little chaotic as I'm only just entertaining some of these ideas and exploring why some people need and prefer solitude. And that some people who have a general dislike of humanity may be in fact very inspiring, amiable and intelligent beings that I would love to meet and not find miserable at all(Kafka, Sartre, Thoreau etc)

    Oh dear, look at the ramblings your blog has caused me to engage it! :)

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  12. Bella,
    There's no need to ever apologize for "rambling" here. For one thing, I don't regard your thoughts here as rambling. I'm grateful for thoughtful discussion, and you certainly join right in! :) Also, I've often see that discussions here go in entirely different directions than I might ever have thought they would.

    Thanks for your clarification and further explanation here. And I think I do understand what you are saying. I guess what is bothering me is that I do not at all have a general dislike of humanity, and yet solitude is as necessary to me as air, food, and water.... In fact, I would go so far as to posit that I cannot relate as I should with people--when I am with them--without solitude too.... So, I think that the perhaps genuine misanthropy that you speak of with regard to an Abbey or a Hesse, for example, may not necessarily be correlated to their need/love for solitude...or perhaps they are, but this is not a necessary connection for everyone.

    And I think the kind of solitude that the article spoke of is the kind I need am am talking about. If one cannot even stand to be alone with oneself (this is not talking about not wanting to be with other people, see?), then one does not even know oneself...and I do believe that the "self" will be shallow and stunted for such poverty... This is what the present wired generation and society may face and come to....

    Wow, you have gotten me to write more here in a response than I have done in a long time. :)

    Great discussion; thank you all!

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  13. Just catching up with your posts after a busy period of long hours at work. (Going to treat myself to the Walterwalker video a little later).

    What a very wise story you've quoted, and what richness of discussion in the comments.

    I had to drop in to point you in the direction of a book you might enjoy: A Book of Silence, by Sara Maitland.

    It tells how, after an early life packed with people, she has explored solitude and silence in different remote places.

    Check out the Amazon link below, it has one of those 'look inside' features so you can read the first few pages.

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1847080421/ref=sib_rdr_dp

    And I like the new look, by the way.

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  14. Tess,
    Always good to see you here. I do hope that you enjoy the Waterwalker film. Thanks for the book recommendation. I shall have a look presently.

    I have to say I'm not feeling the new look, but thank you for the compliment. :)

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  15. I too recently read this beautiful piece of poetry and blown away by it. Everything is so true and I am trying to be more comfortable with my solitude........

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  16. Thanks esn, for your visit and your comment.

    Keep trying. :)

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  17. I think the point, and the connection later discussed...is balance. Those who live aware and active in their connection with the natural world tend to also be aware of the balance which nature seeks. As such, they (we?) may also be more active in trying to achieve their own balance, including between individual solitude and social community interconnectedness.

    Personally, I spend a lot of time alone. Granted, I have tended to spend most of it in front of a computer, gaming (decreasingly so, I am proud to say) and lately learning, but I also love to spend quiet time alone in nature. It's something I am settling back into in a big way, happily. I can certainly attest to the subconscious grin that appears on one's face, after some quiet solitary time in nature.

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  18. SoapBoxTech,
    I think you're right on the mark with what you say about balance. Thank you for adding that insight.

    It sounds like you're headed in a very healthy direction with your reconnection with nature. I'm glad to read that you've found that "subconscious grin."
    :)

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  19. Thoreau said "I never found a companion more companionable than solitude." I love that line for I think it is true about me.

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