You will be walking some night
in the comfortable dark of your yard
and suddenly a great light will shine
round about you, and behind you
will be a wall you never saw before.
It will be clear to you suddenly
that you were about to escape,
and that you are guilty: you misread
the complex instructions, you are not
a member, you lost your card
or never had one. And you will know
that they have been there all along,
their eyes on your letters and books,
their hands in your pockets,
their ears wired to your bed.
Though you have done nothing shameful,
they will want you to be ashamed.
They will want you to kneel and weep
and say you should have been like them.
And once you say you are ashamed,
reading the page they hold out to you,
then such light as you have made
in your history will leave you.
They will no longer need to pursue you.
You will pursue them, begging forgiveness.
They will not forgive you.
There is no power against them.
It is only candor that is aloof from them,
only an inward clarity, unashamed,
that they cannot reach. Be ready.
When their light has picked you out
and their questions are asked, say to them:
"I am not ashamed." A sure horizon
will come around you. The heron will begin
his evening flight from the hilltop.
--Wendell Berry
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I find this an odd piece from Berry. Not his usual voice and style—or at least I wouldn't have recognized it as his.
ReplyDeleteBut I surely agree.
I quite agree with you, Grizzled, and I couldn't have said it batter myself. Yet, this piece still speaks to me, as most of Berry's work does.
ReplyDeleteI do no know what--specifically--Berry had in mind when he wrote this one, but I take it for myself as speaking to the necessity of being truly one's "self" in the face of the expectations, baggage, guilt, fear, ignorance, appeal to authority, and just plain destructiveness put upon one by well meaning folks....
As I confess have battled that to some extent my entire adult life...this poem--taking it as I do--speaks to the power of "coming out" if you will, into what Berry calls here the "inward clarity"
Peace to you
Now see…I take this as an admonition, a call to strength in principals and beliefs, a caution to remain true to your vision; to not be swayed by fashion or ridicule; to not be willing to sell your individuality to fit in, or be accepted. I don't see it so much as "coming out" into "inward clarity" as a staying put within this already existing inward clarity, a truth aloof, in a place which those who would have you come elsewhere cannot reach.
ReplyDeleteA different reading altogether. And indeed a strange (for Berry) piece.
I had a pretty strong reaction in myself to Berry's poem. I have had a similar reaction, at least in my thoughts to the same "them" that are the accusers in the poem: religious fundamentalists, nosy neighbors and various acquaintances in this community who would have me jump on their bandwagon or do as they say or do.
ReplyDeleteBerry is right: "It is only candor that is aloof from them, only an inward clarity, unashamed, that they cannot reach."
"I take it for myself as speaking to the necessity of being truly one's "self" in the face of the expectations, baggage, guilt, fear, ignorance, appeal to authority, and just plain destructiveness put upon one by well meaning folks...."
ReplyDeleteYes, Forest. I agree.
And, to be sure, "I am not ashamed."
ReplyDeleteWhat wise words.
To go confidently in the direction you are pulled - without shame, expectations, baggage, guilt, fear, ignorance, or appeal to authority.
Is there any truer calling?
Grizzled,
ReplyDeleteI don't think we are reading it altogether differently. I can certainly see in what you are seeing as well, and actually, I think that's complimentary to my reading of the poem.
Northland and Val,
Thanks for the support and commiseration. :)
When I read this poem, I heard THEM to be what some people call "the committee" - the voices within oneself that keep one from inner clarity ... and courage, really, to break free and follow what one knows to be true.
ReplyDeleteThe tone of poem does not sound like Berry to me, but the substance surely does. It is the heart of all of his writing.
It is not outer voices that keep us imprisoned and afraid - it is the inner ones.
Neither do I, Forest. There is plenty of room in here for both views. I can see what you are reading here. One way doesn't preclude the other.
ReplyDeleteWriting, like all art, always works on a personal level, what we see, feel, hear—experience—depends on who we are and what we bring to a particular moment.
In practice, Berry is merely pointing out what Abbey aggressively practiced. He isn't necessarily a kinder, gentler Abbey; just one who rages in a quieter, different voice—a Berry voice…but still a man marching and proclaiming the personal truth of his own drumbeat.
Beth,
ReplyDeleteVery good point. Very good point.
It is not outer voices that keep us imprisoned and afraid - it is the inner ones.
Ultimately, you absolutely right on that one, IMO.
Grizzled,
ReplyDeleteIndeed that is exactly how art works. And it should not be any other way. You make an interesting observation here about Berry. I had not thought of him in that way before, but what you say about his similarity and difference from Berry makes a lot of sense.
This must be part of the reason I connect so much and so well--yet in a different way--with each of them.
Each of you - Forest, Grizzled, Beth, and Northland said something that resonated with me.
ReplyDeleteI always love the great dialogue here.
Val,
ReplyDeleteI am very thankful for my readers and commenters, and often humbled by the calibre of the comments on this blog.